The world doesn’t make any sense so why should I pretend that I do? 9. August 2017 – Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

When I walk down the street in my high heels, people notice. Most walk on by and forget about it as quickly as they spotted me. There are a few smiles, some laughs and some people look offended. Of course, people think it’s unusual to see a man in high heels. And I guess it’s pretty normal to stare at people who look a little different from us. We can’t help ourselves. But people stare more, when I, as a man, choose to dress in clothes that are normally worn by women.

It is taboo. While I might not be physically imprisoned for it, people have distanced themselves from me, rejected me or treated me like a freak. Few choose to understand it, few support it, and most wonder how I can sink so low and degrade myself in this way. Sometimes I think people even see me as mentally disturbed or sick in the head.

But what the hell – it’s just clothes and shoes! What’s the big deal? It’s my life and in the end, I’m the one who has to live it and live it proud. And that is exactly what I’m doing because I don’t want to live my life based on the opinions and the prejudices of others.

Has the world become so homogenous that we all have to look the same, do the same and talk the same? Has the world we live in become so boring? And how sad that we can’t even support those who dare to stand out and be different.

When I’m at a party, I quickly become the guy that everyone’s talking about. Out of the corner of my eye, I see small groups gather, pointing at me, whispering and laughing. And often, it’s proper “grown-ups” – not immature teenagers or toddlers who still haven’t learned their manners – people who should know better.

And while I think it’s great that I can help the party host by being the icebreaker, it can also be tiresome to deal with, rising above it all and smiling sweetly all the time when I just want to be accepted for who I am.

But there’s always one. Someone who simply cannot get their head around the thought of a man in stilettos; someone who needs an answer. And at some point during the evening, after a few drinks, there’s always at least one person who wants to talk about it with me. Usually, it’s women.

“Why do you wear high heels? Do you wish you were taller? Are you trans or are you gay?” They try and find a rational reason – something that makes sense to them. That a man chooses to do something that women do is simply incomprehensible!

My answer is often the same. No, I think it suits me and I don’t really believe in traditional ideals of how men and woman should act and behave. I believe men and women are equal and should be allowed to have the same opportunities as each other. And that includes what we wear. For me, it’s all about style and looking good, and feeling self-assured. While they claim to understand it, they will often say, “Fair enough, it’s your choice. Do what you want but it’s your own fault if women don’t fall for you – if you dress like that, you’re not a real man, and that’s probably why you’re single.” To which, I usually reply, “Perhaps I’m not a real man, but are you and the other women around us real women?” Then they look at me as if I have totally misunderstood what they said. “Of course, we are real women. We look like women and we do the things that women do. You’re the one who wears women’s clothes, it’s you who’s not like other men – the kind of men women want!”

“But that makes no sense at all!” I tell them. “You’re saying there’s just one way to be a real man and one way to be a real woman. Look around you! Half the women here are wearing trousers, some have flats on, others are in suits. Some are in dresses with stilettos, some have crops and others have long hair. There’s one woman who’s the CEO of a large corporation, another is a nurse, one loves her motorbike, another is a high-ranking politician, and she’s a triathlete. And I think that’s great! Women can do as they please, yet you’re telling me, that as a man, I need to dress and behave in a very specific way otherwise I can’t expect to be attractive to women!”

Once people have heard me out, they often admit that I’m right and had never looked at it that way before. They agree that I should be allowed to wear what I want yet they continue to insist that 99% of women will never find me attractive.

Maybe they are right. But for me, it doesn’t really make sense. Instead, I smile. I hope they learned something. Maybe in the future, they will be more open-minded. Maybe they will even challenge themselves to try something new. My conclusion: the world today doesn’t make sense so why should I pretend that I do? I’d rather be alone, looking for that one woman in a hundred and keep my integrity.